the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
