Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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