Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
