I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
