he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm too high and old for this...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
