that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
