you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
