It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish you could order shots online.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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