She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
