A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
