Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
