Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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