This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My pussy is not your playground.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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