I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
