this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize