You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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