He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
