At least make sure they are 18
Why
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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