She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
