Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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