is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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