Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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