Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
