you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
