Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
