We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
