I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
