umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
