I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
