you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
