So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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