They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I am available for nakedness
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
