I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
