I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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