Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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