I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
