it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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