Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
