one might say we're banned from that church
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
