btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
