I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
