Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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