a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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