Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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