She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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