Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
