Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
