even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
