I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
