he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize