You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
