if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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