I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
