Christians are straight up FREAKS
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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