he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
