Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
