I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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