Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
