capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize