I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
