He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
